Life lately.

If you were to have asked me as a teenager, or even in my early 20s, where I would be at age 28 I would've emphatically (read: naively) stated "married with a few kids." That kind of question was always a no-brainer to me. For as long as I can remember I've thought about some day having a husband and some children. Heck, up until a few years ago I thought the most important thing I could do in my 20s was to find a husband and have a baby; "finding myself" or starting a career was not in the forefront of my mind. Now, I simply wonder who that person who wanted a husband before wanting anything else is. My focus in life for the last few years has not been on seeking a partner or building a family; it's been on building myself.

At my age (28 if you're curious) the word single, when referring to one's marital status, often comes with a slightly negative connotation. Many well-meaning friends or family members of mine have asked when I will "settle down" as if I am out of control in my single-ness. While I understand their curiosity–– it does seem as though I'm one of the last few "single ladies" around–– I tire of the intrusion in my personal life. I tire of needing to explain that I am working on finishing my graduate degree, starting my career, becoming financially stable on my own, etc. (The things that I feel will help make me a better wife someday... when I am ready).

Usually conversations surrounding my relationship status leave me feeling awkward, judged, or even more alone (as if I need a reminder), but the other night my grandma and I had a conversation that left me feeling empowered, proud, and understood.

Nan told me how proud she is of me that I am able to attend events or do activities all on my own. She told me about her own life, how she went from living with her mother and aunt to being a married woman by age 20 and a mother by age 22. My grandma did not work much in her early adulthood; her primary role was homemaker, which at the time was the norm for women. Although she has no regrets, and is grateful for the life my grandpa was able to provide for her and their family, she began to tell me how different her life in her 20s was compared to how mine is now. She told me she is happy to see me experiencing the world on my own, something she feels she missed out on. My grandma is one of the most important figures in my life and I know she is not one to give out praise without it coming from the heart, so having this heart-to-heart conversation struck a chord with me and got me thinking: I am doing wonderful, amazing things and there is no shame in being happily alone.

XO- A